That’s right – a building site. I fell into a swamp in Thailand, next to a building site full of Thai builders. I am certain they had never seen anything like it before – or since.

I think it’s time for one of my most infamous travel accidents. The day I felt into a swamp in Bangkok.

I’ve been told I have a flair for the dramatic (who, me?!) so I forgive you for thinking that the above sentence is an exaggeration. I assure you it is not. I literally fell into a swamp, and couldn’t get out. I have written previously about being worried about forgetting some of the crazy things I have experienced, but I am confident that as long as I have some semblance of a memory I will remember this day in vivid detail.

In 2013, a friend and I were going to Bangkok for work. As had become our custom, we decided to fly out a little early and have a couple of days exploring before the workshops began. Both of us had been to Bangkok a few times, and so we decided to have one night reliving memories on Khao San Road before heading for a change of pace at an eco-hotel in the forests on the Chao Phraya river. The night on Khao San Road was expectedly messy, the journey to the eco-hotel was horrifyingly hungover and the Bangkok Tree House hotel that was to be our home for a couple of nights was a beautiful breath of fresh air.

Now the area the hotel is located in is on the banks of the river. It is heavily forested and full of swamp-like tributaries. There are no cars, you can only get around by foot or bike, and so on our second day we decided to take part in a little bike tour with a local guide. We got our bikes and adjusted them – my seat was a little high, but I figured I’d be ok. It’d been a while since I’d ridden a bike, but there’s a famous saying about that, right?

We headed off and all was well.. until it wasn’t. We turned a 90-degree corner onto a bridge with only one rail and suddenly my balance was all over the place. In a comical, slow-motion movement, I toppled over the side of the bridge – still hanging onto my bike and literally fell sideways into the swamp water.

I need to add some colour and context here, so you can really get the visual. Firstly – the main image on this post is the ACTUAL water I fell into, and the actual bridge I fell off. Secondly – I am a horrendously weak swimmer. I have never liked water and swimming lessons at school were my worst nightmare. I hate getting my face underwater – I freak out pretty badly and when I feel out of control in water it instantly starts off a panic attack.

So here I was, finally untangled from a bike, in water where the bottom was silt (no way to get grip), freaking out and trying to tread water. Turns out – once again – that my survival instinct is pretty solid and I was able to stay afloat! First challenge, completed. Now to get out of this green muck before I get an infection, a parasite or a million other things I still can’t fully bring myself to think about. The tour guide jumped in to help me (or save his bike? We’ll never know) and directed me to swim under the bridge to the side where a pile of bamboo poles prepped for a nearby building site could help me get some grip to get out.

That’s right – a building site. I fell into a swamp in Thailand, next to a building site full of Thai builders. I am certain they had never seen anything like it before – or since.

Somehow (and this is still a little blurry) I managed to haul myself up, and some of the aforementioned builders rushed over to pull me out. I stood there, green and sopping, struggling to control panic, shaking with tears streaming down my face as a man who spoke no English beckoned me over. It’s the first and last time in my life I’ll follow a complete stranger so willingly, but I’m glad I did.

I walked over and stood there as, amidst a lot of excited Thai chatter, a man pulled out a hosepipe and sprayed me down. Yes, sprayed me down with a hosepipe like a pet dog that had jumped in a muddy pond. I mean, I guess if the shoe fits…

My friend Christine watched the whole thing in a mix of sheer horror and hysteria. I can still picture her face as she cried with laughter and asked if I was ok. I can also still picture her face as she pointed out a huge tarantula style spider on the back of the guide’s back as he got out with the bike. We traipsed back to the hotel, passing many people – me sopping wet, green tinged and indecently dressed in a white t-shirt, gripping my bag full of items that were destroyed for life, pushing a bike and staring at it with the kind of venom I normally reserve for bigots, misogynists and racists. I crawled into my beautiful hotel room and stood under the outside shower fully dressed and shivering for at least 20 minutes. In time, the shock wore off and the funny side because startlingly apparent to me. I was phoneless for the rest of my time in Bangkok, and very quickly my world knew about my latest ‘incident’. I managed to avoid any serious long-lasting effects and it’s still one of my favourite stories to date.

To the builders who helped me and hosed me down – thank you.

To the tour guide who also sacrificed his phone in the dramatic rescue attempt – I’m sorry.

To the lady at my phone insurance company who I lied to and said I dropped my phone in the sink – yeah I don’t regret that one bit.

To Christine, who laughed until she cried and then felt extremely guilty for her reaction – I forgive you (and you’re welcome for the memories!)

Catdog (aka Swampy) xx